I have so many thoughts to share stemming from my two and a half weeks in Europe. My route was
Flight to Zurich→
Train to Innsbruck→
Car share to Bressanone→
On foot across the Dolomites to Cortina d’Ampezzo→
Bus to Venice→
Rental car to Padua→Verona→Bergamo→Milan→
Train and kayak to Bellagio→
Car share to Zurich
with a lot of little stops in between. Everything I saw was stimulating and new, and I took dozens and dozens of pages of notes. Since most of that time was spent in northern Italy, let’s kick off the onslaught of upcoming blog posts with a lighthearted comparison of Italy and Boulder.
Accommodation
| Number of Nights I Stayed In… | Italy | Boulder |
| My own personal chambers in a palace | 2 | 0 |
| An old country farmhouse | 2 | Always! That’s what I live in, though it’s not quite the villa I enjoyed in Italy. |
| A hut on a mountain pass | 4 | 0, although this is possible in Colorado, minus all the beer and amazing food you get served in the ones in Italy. |
Animals
| Number of Times I Saw… | Italy | Boulder |
| An animal that could kill me in seconds | 0 | 2 |
| Bowls of water set outside shops for passing dogs | 1 | Every day |
| Dogs wearing harnesses (as opposed to leashes) | > 90% | < 20% |
| Dogs sitting inside restaurants (in the building, not on a patio) with their owners or walking around inside shops | Often | Rarely |
Clothes and Style
| Number of Times I Saw… | Italy | Boulder |
| Man buns | 3 | Every day |
| Garishly patterned leggings/yoga pants/athleisure clothes (not counting my own) | 1 (not counting at the airport terminal where all the Americans were waiting to go home) | Multiple times a day, generally not in conjunction with going to the gym |
| Rompers | Too often (I prefer to think these were all American tourists who have been misled into think that it’s OK to dress like a four-year-old in public) | Even more often |
Food and Drink
| Number of Times I… | Italy | Boulder |
| Gained a pound from eating pasta or chocolate croissants | 30 (though I always sweated it off the next day) | 0 |
| Saw a craft beer selection in a retail store | 1 | All the beer! |
| Saw craft cocktails on a menu | 1 | All the drink menus! |
| Spent $30 on a glass of champagne | 1 (Venice rooftop bar, had to happen) | In Boulder? I don’t think so. |
| Was pleasantly overwhelmed by the glut of inexpensive prosecco or wine options | Many | Never |
| Bought a bottle of prosecco for takeout at a pizza parlor | 3 | Why can’t we do this here? |
| Got served tapas with my alcoholic beverage or biscotti with my espresso | 50% | Why don’t we do this here? |
| Saw hikers using a bladder of water | 0 (I know it’s not as dry there as it is in Colorado, but the lack of water used for hiking baffled me.) | Every time I hike. |
| Was automatically served water when I sat down at a restaurant | Never | Always |
| Got assessed a “cover charge” to sit at a table in a restaurant, on top of the cost of the food | 8 (Why is this a thing?) | 0 |
Bodily Fluids
| Number of Times I… | Italy | Boulder |
| Snuck into the side door of a closed castle and crept around to (successfully) find a toilet to use | 1 | 0 |
| Used a squat toilet of the southeast Asian variety | 1 | 0 |
| Paid to use a toilet | 4 (I spent about $10 to relieve myself in Europe, including purchasing a $5 bottle of water at a coffee shop to get the code for the bathroom, which I was followed into by four other people after I opened it, none of whom offered to chip in for the cost) | 0 |
Transportation
| Number of Times I… | Italy | Boulder |
| Saw a Subaru | 1 | 100+ each day |
| Saw an expensive, Italian sports car | 2 (Disappointing) | 2 |
| Saw a Range Rover | Every 3rd car | Every 30th car |
| Parked in a spot I wasn’t sure was legal | 3 | Never |
| Got a ticket for parking illegally | 0 | 0 |
| Hitchhiked | 2 | 0 (Do you think I want to end up molested and dead in the back of someone’s van?) |
| Saw passive-aggressive drivers loitering in the left lane | Never | Always |
| Spent money on a toll road | Too many (I spent more on tolls in four days of driving in Italy than in the last four years in Colorado) | Rarely |
| Almost got my car wedged in a winding, narrow alleyway within a walled city | 1 | Never |
| Saw motorcyclists wearing full leather suits | Almost always | Almost never |
| Got stuck in a roundabout, Chevy Chase style | 1 (1 out of 100 ain’t bad!) | 0 |
People
| Number of Times I… | Italy | Boulder |
| Noticed someone yelling in a singsongy way while gesticulating wildly | Not nearly enough | Never |
| Encountered a trail runner | 1 | Every day |
| Saw people using selfie sticks | I never want to see another selfie stick again | 0 |
| Heard an American tourist snap his fingers at a waiter and speak more loudly, presumably so the man could understand him better | 1 time, ugh. His name was Ed Swank, that’s S-W-A-N-K, and he was from Florida and was sick of his wife dragging him around the country and he just wanted to pay the check, dammit! | 0 |
| Saw panhandlers | Not in the tourist areas, seldom elsewhere | All the time, same people, same street corners |
| Was impressed by mamas and papas pushing baby strollers up steep hills on the mountainsides while out for a Sunday afternoon family walk | Several dozen | Never, though I have seen some badass little kids climbing 14ers |
Other
| Number of Times I… | Italy | Boulder |
| Inhaled secondhand smoke | I’m pretty sure I have lung cancer now. | I’m pretty sure smoking is illegal within Boulder city limits. |
| Sat outside at a café in a piazza pretending to be a famous writer working on my next novel | A dozen | Never |
| Risked frostbite in August while hiking | Never | More than once |
| Saw a sign forbidding taking photos in a grocery store | 1 (Why?) | Never |
| Walked past a pot shop | Never, though the green neon pharmacy crosses had me wondering more than once | Every day |
| Had to input a WiFi password so complex the NSA couldn’t crack it | Too many | Never |
| Was awestruck | Dozens and dozens | Only when I get out of town and head to the mountains |
Jennifer A Swallow 
They say the Italians without their hands are mute. Coming back to explore more. Love this post. Louise
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